1863The Travel Book; I Spanien (In Spain)
Reads aloud for the Workers' Association.
Attends a funeral at Vartov Church, where Grundtvig delivers the sermon. HCA likes his long "poetic" psalm more than his sermon.
Sees the new central railway station for the first time (the diary: "all was foreign to me; I felt I was far from home"). Also sees the new district general hospital.
Reads aloud for the first time in the new building for the Students' Association (500 spectators).
Reads aloud again for the Students' Association.
6 November 1863
Reads aloud at a combined literary-musical event at the Students' Association. On 19th November, HCA joins the Students' Association and then goes there daily, in order to combat boredom by reading newspapers, sometimes also dining at the restaurant there.
Release of I Spanien (In Spain).
At a dinner at the Collins', HCA meets Mathilde Fibiger, alias Clara RaphaÎl, ("she has such a pained expression, looks so starved", the diary).
Frederik VII dies. HCA feels very sad and depressed: "I feel ill, spiritually and bodily run down" (from the continuation of Mit Livs Eventyr (The Fairy Tale of My Life).
During the funeral preparations for Frederik VII, signs of war with Germany surface once again. HCA is very depressed:
"The situation looks very bleak. It is as though Denmark faces her final hour. All I can think of is war or rebellion, my spirits are troubled: one hears empty political speeches. I picture my few savings disappearing, see myself begging in my old age [...] It's all over for Denmark, and for the existence of my happiness - the night of death draws near"
(the diary, 12th).
Officially - as seen in the continuation of Mit Livs Eventyr (The Fairy Tale of My Life) - HCA describes the situation as follows:
"I still believed that God would provide deliverance, but fear and pain would often strike down in my heart; never before had I felt so intensely how deeply attached I was to my country. Not that I forgot how much love, recognition and friendship had been extended to me in Germany, how dear to me my many friends there were, but now a drawn sword had been wedged between us. I do not forget the good deeds and friends, but my home-land is like my mother; she is and always will be number one.
How heavily everything did weigh on my heart! I was suffering and thought I could not bear it. Never before had Christmas seemed so dark and heavy as in that year".
"Digte af H.C. Andersen" (Poems by HCA), poems from Spain are printed in Nye Digte af danske Digtere (New Poems by Danish Poets) released by Chr. Winther. HCA's friends are shocked by the sensuality of the poems.
Travels to Basnæs Estate, where Carl Bernhard arrives on New Years Eve. On the thresh-hold of the new year, HCA is feeling very despondent about his own and Denmark's situation.
On this matter he comments in the continuation of Mit Livs Eventyr (The Fairy Tale of My Life):
"At the turn of the year, on New Years Eve, I stood fearful at the thought of what the coming year would bring. God was the great power in which I placed my trust; he would not let go of Denmark".